From head to toe:
Hair: In disarray
Brow: Furrowed in concentration/dismay/divine inspiration
Eyes: Slowly being fried by millions of little LCD lights with the power of small suns/ focused on computer screen
Mouth: Grimacing or twitching uncomfortably
Tongue: Repeatedly being stuck out partially and then hastily withdrawn
Shoulders: Stooped forward
Hands: Still stained with yesterday’s hasty scribblings of notes to self
Spine: Crooked and slouched
Bottom: Uncomfortable from trying to out-wait inspiration’s arrival
Legs: Crossed or not
Feet: Who knows?
(to be completed in no specific order)
1. To write something earth shattering!
2. Google Images search: puppies
3. Regain focus. Stare at computer screen and wait for muse to arrive.
4. Check phone/Facebook/whatever you look at to kill time to see if correspondence from outside world has arrived.
5. Vaguely ponder your future.
6. Ignore impending sense of panic/doom/imminent destruction that arises when you picture your future as a writer, possibly living in a cardboard box under an overpass.
7. Stare at the computer screen some more.
8. Do homework you forgot about until just now.
9. Drink copious amounts of coffee. Begin feeling mysteriously sleepy.
10. Counteract this by drinking
liquid meth energy drinks.
11. Get completely JACKED UP on energy drinks.
13. Wonder why you’ve never been able to see sounds or hear colors until this moment.
14. Twitch more. Convulsions ensue.
15. Your muse is knocking at the door but your body is currently seizing out of your control.
16. Recover from convulsions. Begin drinking heavily (your poison of choice) when you realize your muse is really pissed this time and might not come back.
17. Weep for lost muse.
18. Whine about lack of inspiration/muse to whoever will listen.
19. Watch that cat video that always makes you smile.
20. Write anyway. Lack of muse be damned.